April 2012
3 posts
I was delivered by an abortion doctor and I turned...
Let me start by saying I was my parents’ miracle. They wanted a baby, they were told they might not be able to have one, so they set their noses to the grindstone and got busy gettin’ busy.
Three and a half years of wedded bliss later, I showed up and the party could officially start.
Because I am awesome.
After the first miracle, my parents had a windfall of miracles and...
Because I can't have a normal interaction with...
Tonight, I ventured over to CVS to exchange an accidentally purchased bottle of regular tonic water for the actually needed, diet tonic water.
YES, OBVIOUSLY FOR MULTIPLE, DIET-APPROPRIATE GIN & TONICS THAT I PLANNED ON CONSUMING IN BED.
They were out.
So, when my exchange became a return, I presented my receipt and bottle to the cashier.
“I’d like to return this. I needed...
They call me "Icebox."
I am on the right and, sadly, this was one of my nicer outfits.
In 1997 I turned twelve, and my mom finally allowed (read: given up) me to choose my own outfits.
This was her reward.
And yes, my purse is actually a lunchbox. With a sandwich inside.
