November 2011
5 posts
How to Win Friends and Influence People and Ruin a...
While bowling with friends and family the conversation turned to riddles.
The riddle in question: You have 8 marbles. All of them weigh 1 ounce, with the exception if one, which weighs 1.1 ounce. You only have two attempts on the scale to find the 1.1 ounce marble.
Answer: How about I fuck up the scale, throw away the marbles and kick you in the dick?
I hate riddles.
But I love a good...
I bet if I was breckman you'd give me all sorts of...
My health insurance recently lapsed and, being unemployed, I can’t afford a new plan. Seeking a temporary alternative, I applied for Medicaid.
I thought that, like applying for unemployment and getting birth control, it would be super easy. I’d walk in, tell them I’m poor and recently laid-off and, in a Dickensian-like moment, they’d shower me with gifts and healthcare...
Easy as 3.14159 divided by infinity.
For my dad, saying “happy as a clam” is just too easy.
Instead he says, “Happy as a chimpanzee on banana pleasure day.”
Listening to him explain why this is an acceptable idiom is even better than hearing the words “banana pleasure day” actually used in a sentence.
