Humble Sandwich

Cautionary tales you can eat.

4 notes

The whales, you see, eat up the little fish.

For my 24th birthday, I threw a small party at my apartment.  It was small, because I was still a bit new to LA and did not have many friends, and it was at my apartment because I am an introvert and see above.

I truly felt that this was my very first birthday as a real, established adult. I had my own place, I had a job, only half of my furniture had been scavenged from alleyways.  I wanted to celebrate like an adult.

So obviously, I ordered a custom Fudgie the Whale cake that said “Have a Whale of a Birthday!” on it and I scowled at the Carvel employee that judged me with her eyes when I said the cake was for me. 

Fudgie is delicious, and unsurpisingly, we ran out of him pretty quickly. The people who’d missed out on the cake were a little disappointed, but eventually moved on because there was still liquor.

The part of the story I’m not telling you is this: There was another cake in the freezer.  I’d actually purchased two cakes knowing full-well that I’d run out of cake, but for some reason that I still can’t explain, when I was asked if there was more cake, I leaned against the freezer like a cartoon bear hiding jam pots and said, “Nope.”

So, for those of you who were at that party - the second cake said, “Whale, hello there.”  And I ate it.

I ate the whole thing.

By myself.

And I still don’t regret it.

Filed under birthday cake desserts fudgie the whale carvel whale normal conversations happy birthday to me

8 notes

teambabysharks:

90. IMAGE. Gingerbread Villages are always so cute and quaint. Make a gingerbread village that shows urban blight: needle exchanges, prostitution, heavy police presence, etc.

This Gingerbread Village almost killed me.  I had to bake the gingerbread in small squares because the large sheets kept crumbling. Like a noob, I used cake frosting instead of icing, so my gingerbread people started to get soggy REAL FAST.  I learned that, as a baker, I should stick to pies.
I finally finished at 3am, and after I took this photo, I vindictively ate the strip club’s roof while laughing maniacally. 

teambabysharks:

90. IMAGE. Gingerbread Villages are always so cute and quaint. Make a gingerbread village that shows urban blight: needle exchanges, prostitution, heavy police presence, etc.

This Gingerbread Village almost killed me.  I had to bake the gingerbread in small squares because the large sheets kept crumbling. Like a noob, I used cake frosting instead of icing, so my gingerbread people started to get soggy REAL FAST.  I learned that, as a baker, I should stick to pies.

I finally finished at 3am, and after I took this photo, I vindictively ate the strip club’s roof while laughing maniacally. 

Filed under GISHWHES TeamBabysharks Item90 i hate gingerbread 5ever